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Four men who lost parents to suicide strengthen their bonds of friendship in this memoir.
In this candid look at suicide—which, according to the Centers for Disease Control, is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States—debut author Knapp and Pincus (Reel Baseball, 2003) focus on the emotional aftermath for those who are left behind. In 1966, the authors met during their senior year in a Maryland high school and, much to their surprise, soon found out their lives shared a striking similarity—their mothers had both killed themselves a few years earlier. Over time, the two young men began to have heart-to-heart conversations about their grief. As the years progressed, they discovered they had two other friends, Tom and Dennis, affected by the suicide of a parent.
Sometimes deep and sometimes chatty, this heartfelt memoir begins with conversations between Knapp and Pincus. Later, the work includes email exchanges involving all four friends. Bouncing between different time periods and settings—high school in 1966, a bench beside a Cleveland Jewish synagogue in the mid-’90s, a baseball road trip in 1999, a popular Chicago restaurant in 2009—the book realistically portrays these four baby boomers and self-described “sons of suicide” as they grappled with difficult questions, such as whether or not forgiveness for the act is truly possible. Pincus wondered whether his mother thought about him moments before she killed herself. Though the topic is dark, the tone is upbeat—with some joking between old friends—as the men discuss how fortunate they are to currently have wonderful families and friendships.
The authors’ language is sometimes memorably expressive. For example, when recalling his mother’s death, Knapp notes: “Some images are etched deep in the mind with acid so caustic that they are always there, deeply imbedded yet near the surface at the same time.” Seeking answers but not pretending to have them, this clear-eyed account—a potential comfort to others who have suffered similar losses—can also help educate the public about suicide prevention.
Insightful and moving conversations about suicide and grief.
This work takes a decidedly original approach to the discussion of suicide; the central focus on how male survivors of suicide process and grapple with trauma is especially valuable and uncommon . . . With candor, warmth, and thoughtful insights, this dual memoir explores the path to healing after incomparable loss . . . The authors provide texture and immediacy through the integration of informal correspondences between the subjects.
After reading this book, I feel that this ‘memoir of friendship’ truly reinforces the inestimable value for each of us to have a circle of caring friends . . . They are generous with their compassion for others and bold to share their story. The book speaks to the life-long impact a suicide death has on each of us; their hope is that this book will be of help to others.
– Marilyn Koenig, Executive Director
There is one life journey that is entirely singular, unique to each who has experienced it, and that is the processing and subsuming of grief. Some bear this burden for a short time, while others hold on to unanswered questions for many years . . . Now in later life, they are sharing with readers a soul-baring dive into the uncertainty, despair and frustrations they experienced, told through a collection of revealing, deeply intimate emails. More poignant than sad, the takeaway is that the life-affirming force of friendship is powerful and therapeutic.
Net proceeds from sales of Sons of Suicide will be donated to nonprofits focused on suicide prevention, survivors, grief counseling and mental health.